everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
