I wannas sexs uuuuu
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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