The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Randomize
