We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
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When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
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You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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