I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
