I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
