I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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