Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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