I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize