If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
too bad you live with your parents still
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
