So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
