If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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