Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
