dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
