I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My balls are so social today.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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