Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
