I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
