:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
