Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I showed him my bush... on skype.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
