just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We have so much sex to catch up on
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
