I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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