um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
