so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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