So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm always down for nudity.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
