PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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