Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
