More tranny stories later!
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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