I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
