The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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