Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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