sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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