there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
