apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
