What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
