i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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