I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
only if we run a train.
done.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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