you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
