For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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