It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
