Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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