One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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