FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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