I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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