if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
