Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
