i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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