Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
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Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
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You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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