he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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