i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
