we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Operation Purity has been aborted
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
