He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
