bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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