is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
