therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
