New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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