so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
