I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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