I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize