Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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