i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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