I just pynch a tree in the face
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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